There, I met up with Julia and Tom, and stayed at one, then the other for about a week. I got to know them pretty well. At one point, Julia brought up a good point about me heading off into adverse situations; and how it would affect others whose lives I have touched during this pilgrimage.
I thought about this for a few days, and saw that there was a scale where being secure/safe and practice conventional common sense was at one end of the scale; and at the other end is complete surrender and trust at the complete expense of essential self-safety. I used to be at the former end of the scale for my entire life up until the point I embarked on my pilgrimage.
At the moment, I have reached a state of mind where I am at the latter end of the scale; because I am okay with the complete surrender and trust that is the theme of this pilgrimage. I am okay with a lot of other things now, including the unexpected, since no matter what I end up doing, or not doing; no matter which version of my highest or not-the-highest self will serve the Divine agenda.
While thinking of others' concerns for my welfare, I think there is a co-existence, rather than a mutual exclusivity of this factor. I have stated the theme of this pilgrimage at the very beginning, even before starting this blog to everyone, and that it would come with the territory. I was pondering between two different passport agencies to expedite renew my passport at: Boston required lodging for two to three weeks, but whose journey to Montreal was all accessible by mass transit. Vermont was quicker, but required hitchhiking through the state, then to Montreal through adverse conditions. The latter would have been much more difficult; and very much in line with the extreme surrender and trust end of the scale. I opted for Boston as it was more consistent with my current Modus Operandi, still trusting and surrendering; but taking a safer approach instead.
One thought I had about this was to give the concept a nickname, which infuses some of my thoughts on it - Spiritual Shareholders. The reason for the nickname is that I had worked for a couple of different corporations and other companies for about 8 years; and observed that a public company is beholden to their shareholders, who all have different motivations, some related to direct value of the stocks of the corporation. Many corporations will adopt a certain set of behaviors that often dilute their reputation to their customers as a result. I felt that a similar thing would happen with spiritual shareholders if I try to always take their considerations into hand. I did not want this, nor did I want to change my intent and theme of the pilgrimage.
I think part of being able to keep up this theme has to do with how we accept and feel about going into adversity. I have been having a hard time accepting some of the things I have been told by various divinators; as well as things about myself. Self doubt about myself; and this may have been an influencing factor towards the emergence of Spiritual Shareholders. What I wonder is if I did accept myself and the things I have been told; and walked forward with full confidence; would that result in the non-emergence of Spiritual Shareholders; mitigation; or elimination of the concept? I would think it would.
Either way, I am okay with all this, and any judgement thought of if I were to disregard this factor and go fully into the complete trust and surrender end of the scale.